This question seems to date back for quite some time and I feel that although certain people have managed to make a platonic man/woman relationship work this particular kind of relationship continues to be somewhat of a grey zone and somewhat of a struggle.
In one of my favourite movies of all time, When Harry Met Sally, Harry simply states that men and women cannot be friends.
Please watch:
What defines a friend?
Someone who you enjoy spending time with; someone who you care for and who cares for you;someone who is there for you and vice versa.
There. Simple. We've defined friends in the simplest terms.
Perhaps the tricky part of men/women friendships is when a member of the friendship becomes involved with someone else. Suddenly there is an elephant in the room - and not just on the friendship end but for the intimate relationship side as well.
Boyfriends and girlfriends (though they may smile and make as though they're totally fine with the friendship) will undoubtedly have a strong curiosity about the "relationship" that their other half has with this opposite sex friend.
When the romantic relationship is new and fragile this friendship may not pose a problem, but as partners get more comfortable with one another and suddenly one is saying to their girlfriend: "Hey hun, tonight I'm going to go out with Claire and see a movie," believe me... a fist has (perhaps slightly) but most definitely clenched.
"Why does he want to spend time with her and not me?" "What is he doing with her that he can't do with me?" "If he's going to be doing something girly, or watching a chick flick, shouldn't he be doing it with me?"
Of course the situation is quite identical in a vice versa situation. If a female chooses to spend the night with a guy friend instead of her boyfriend I'm sure there are particular thoughts running through the boyfriend's mind that do not sit well.
So where does this leave us? Is it okay to have a friend of the opposite sex until one is suddenly in a relationship? Is there a loop hole to this problem that doesn't involve gay friends of opposite sex?
In When Harry Met Sally, the movie cuts to five years later when Harry and Sally run into each other again and he attempts to come up with an amendment to his first rule about men and women not being friends:
I suppose there is yet to be a known answer about this situation, at least from this particular blogger.
What if Harry is right and the sex part is always out there between men and women? Can a straight man and a straight woman really and truly have a platonic relationship where feelings of lust and jealousy cease to exist?
If so, what ingredients do these types of men/women friendships require? Does one friend have to be ugly? Do both friends have to be in a relationship? Does age play a factor? Do hang-outs have to include more than just the two friends?
Perhaps the answer is to try to block out these questions and just have a good time with a friend that you thoroughly enjoy being around. And until boyfriends, girlfriends and unavoidable questions come along just take pleasure in knowing you've got a Harry... or a Sally.
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