Wisdom Teeth

Hello fan(s)

Just thought I'd apologize for not writing for a few days. I got four of my wisdom teeth ripped out of my mouth on Wednesday and have been quite looped up on various amounts of drugs.

Just a few things about the whole experience:

It did not hurt! I'm not sure if I just had an incredible surgeon or incredible drugs but I felt no pain whatsoever for the past few days. I'm not sure what the big fuss is all about. Yes, my cheeks got extremely large on Friday and Saturday, and no I still can't open up my mouth very big for the moment, but throughout this whole process I have not felt any physical pain or discomfort.

Also, I just want to give a shout out to my parents who are both so amazing and nurturing. I must say, I quite enjoyed being treated like a little kid again and their pampering was truly appreciated. They are both so patient and caring individuals and they made this whole thing so much fun.

So thank you mom and dad! You rock. And thank you to the friends who were supportive as well =)

Can Men and Women be Friends...

It's the age-old question: Can men and women be friends?

This question seems to date back for quite some time and I feel that although certain people have managed to make a platonic man/woman relationship work this particular kind of relationship continues to be somewhat of a grey zone and somewhat of a struggle.

In one of my favourite movies of all time, When Harry Met Sally, Harry simply states that men and women cannot be friends.

Please watch:

What defines a friend?

Someone who you enjoy spending time with; someone who you care for and who cares for you;someone who is there for you and vice versa.

There. Simple. We've defined friends in the simplest terms.

Perhaps the tricky part of men/women friendships is when a member of the friendship becomes involved with someone else. Suddenly there is an elephant in the room - and not just on the friendship end but for the intimate relationship side as well.

Boyfriends and girlfriends (though they may smile and make as though they're totally fine with the friendship) will undoubtedly have a strong curiosity about the "relationship" that their other half has with this opposite sex friend.

When the romantic relationship is new and fragile this friendship may not pose a problem, but as partners get more comfortable with one another and suddenly one is saying to their girlfriend: "Hey hun, tonight I'm going to go out with Claire and see a movie," believe me... a fist has (perhaps slightly) but most definitely clenched.

"Why does he want to spend time with her and not me?" "What is he doing with her that he can't do with me?" "If he's going to be doing something girly, or watching a chick flick, shouldn't he be doing it with me?"

Of course the situation is quite identical in a vice versa situation. If a female chooses to spend the night with a guy friend instead of her boyfriend I'm sure there are particular thoughts running through the boyfriend's mind that do not sit well.

So where does this leave us? Is it okay to have a friend of the opposite sex until one is suddenly in a relationship? Is there a loop hole to this problem that doesn't involve gay friends of opposite sex?

In When Harry Met Sally, the movie cuts to five years later when Harry and Sally run into each other again and he attempts to come up with an amendment to his first rule about men and women not being friends:

I suppose there is yet to be a known answer about this situation, at least from this particular blogger.

What if Harry is right and the sex part is always out there between men and women? Can a straight man and a straight woman really and truly have a platonic relationship where feelings of lust and jealousy cease to exist?

If so, what ingredients do these types of men/women friendships require? Does one friend have to be ugly? Do both friends have to be in a relationship? Does age play a factor? Do hang-outs have to include more than just the two friends?

Perhaps the answer is to try to block out these questions and just have a good time with a friend that you thoroughly enjoy being around. And until boyfriends, girlfriends and unavoidable questions come along just take pleasure in knowing you've got a Harry... or a Sally.

Perfect Summary

"I also will not discuss here all the reasons why I did still want to be his wife, or all his wonderfulness, or why I loved him and why I had married him and why I was unable to imagine life without him. I won't open any of that.

Let it be sufficient to say that, on this night, he was still my lighthouse and my albatross in equal measure.

The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland."

- Eat, Pray, Love [novel]

Perfectly describing something that was too difficult to put in words at a time.

Nostalgia

I suppose one of the biggest beauties of having a large collection of videos and pictures is the chance to look back on yourself from years ago.

I often look at myself and ask "what was I thinking?" or think about the fun I was having just at that precise moment the photo or video was captured.

What was I feeling? What made me smile like that? In what way were these people in the picture a part of my life back then?

Indeed, I do love looking back but after my nostalgic road trip I sometimes end up feeling a longing for the old days. Don't get me wrong, I love where I am in my life at this moment but every so often, after looking at old videos and pictures, I feel a yearning to go back to that certain place in time... maybe just for even a couple hours.

High school brings up a roller coaster of feelings for everyone I think. Those four years were so enjoyable at times and so dramatically stupid at others. I remember being excited to graduate but at the same time being scared to leave the comfort that high school had always brought me.

Anyway, many people say they'd never go back to high school - that they're happy they're out of there and will never look back. I don't know. There are definitely times when I, of course will cringe at certain high school memories but today I think I'd enjoy going back.

I've just watched a few videos and gone through a few pictures from my high school dance team's NYC trip in grade 12 and I suddenly miss all the people there and all the feelings I felt at that time so much.

I then got to thinking about the people there and what they're doing now. Some I've completely lost touch with and don't have a clue about what they're doing in life and others I haven't seen in quite some time.

Well, here it is: a little high school shout out to those that at one point meant so much to me and to those who still, though not seen as often, should know they have a very special place in my heart.

What To Be

There comes a time of year when a person must look inside themselves... deep into their soul... outreach to every corner of their mind and personality to make one final decision...

What to be for Halloween.

The yearly struggle between choosing something cute or something skanky... something creative or something classic... something that keeps you warm when outside or something that covers pretty much the only body parts that manage to stay warm no matter what the amount of clothing.

I myself have always sprung for creative/cute and am quite proud to say that I've never actually purchased a Halloween costume before.

While I've always quite enjoyed making my costumes, this year I may have to purchase a main part of the costume in order to pull off the creativity I'm going for. Make sense? Probably not.

You'll know more upon seeing this costume I've chosen once I reveal it to the world on October 31.

Have I mentioned I love Halloween?

Double Standard

Just getting this out here before more than one person reads my last blog... but I just posted it this morning so I should have a few days ... However....

One of my best friends, Danielle pointed out to me that my last blog (Lady Like) was well-written, she got/understood the message but she brought up a good point: I've definitely made it seem as though there's a double standard.

Hmm... I will agree with her. There are many double standards in this day and age - far less than there were decades ago, but nevertheless they still exist.

There are certainly double standards that benefit or limit both males and females and while we can imagine living in a "perfect world" where double standards don't exist I suppose we must simply grin and bare it in the meantime.

One may ask me: so why can't men be GENTLEMEN when it comes to sleeping around? Why is it just up to women to be LADIES? Hmm... should I use what seems to be an obvious double standard to answer this question?

Women are smarter?

No, I won't. I suppose I'll simple say: to each his (or indeed, her) own.

Perhaps I expect too much from women and that could be a double standard against men that I should be working on getting out of my head.

Until next time, stay classy San Francisco.

(Pun intended on closing line)

Lady Like

"Welcome to the age of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's and no one has affairs to remember." - Sex and the City

Where have all the ladies gone?

I'm not talking about females in general, we've been seeing more and more of us women out there in the "real" world haven't we?

I'm talking about ladies. Women with class. Women with dignity.

I'm all for pro-choice and through this I am pro-lifestyle. Everyone can act the way they want so forgive me if this blog is about to sound preachy.

With having a choice to take the house-wife role or the independent-business-woman role (or both if you can handle it - woo Mom!) I have continued to find a certain trend in the women that have chosen the "independent role."

There's this "I am me; I do what I want, who I want, when I want" attitude that seems to be very popular recently. There is nothing wrong with this. We can do whatever we want.

Believe me, I am very independent myself. In fact, I'm all for being self-sufficient and in charge - however there is most definitely a way about doing it.

What am I talking about?

I'm talking about sex. Relationships. "Quick choices" if you will.

Somewhere along the lines, it is my belief that women have come to believe that independence and sexual expression are one in the same.

For goodness sake's women, please have some self-respect and be classy.

If you choose to sleep around or have exciting but ever so quick relationships, attempt to do it with a bit of grace and fabulousness.

There's a reason why many women often refer to men as pigs: because of the way many men speak about women, the way many men recklessly demote women and laugh about it later... you're feeding fuel to the fire!

I'm thinking Samantha Jones may have had something to do with this movement which breaks my heart because this is not what Samantha Jones is about. Women are distorting her message - they've read too much into it and they're turning it into a negative outcome.

Samantha Jones is one of my idols! She has a fabulous career, solid friendships and an extremely hot sex life. Yes, she's had sex with many, many, many men but she did it in an elegant and tasteful manner.

She did not go around shouting from the rooftops that she's had sex with another man; she didn't use vulgarities that devalued her... she was refined. Of course she had some rare moments when she felt she had to make a statement - but these are the few times when Samantha seems weak - not strong.

I suppose my message is: ladies... be ladies! You may think you're taking two steps forward but you are in fact, taking five steps back.

Samantha: Relationships have declined since women came out the cave... ...looked around and said, “This isn't so hard.”

Carrie: So you don't need a man, but do you still want one?

Samantha: I want more than one.

Carrie: I can't decide whether you represent our future or our demise.

Samantha: I am the future!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and you and YOU!

My Thanksgiving weekend has been quite amazing. I spent time with the people I really love and got do a lot of things that may not have been great for my waistline but were completely and 100% enjoyable.

My weekend started off with my best friend and that's how you know you're in for a great time. We went grocery shopping and practically cleaned out the place.

We cooked our traditional

Thanksgiving meal and even created our own recipe for potatoes!

The rest of the weekend was filled with Thanksgiving episodes of Friends, spending time with my brother who is home from university, YouTubing and tonight my mom made a meal for the record books: tender turkey, creamy mashed potatoes, scrumptious stuffing, steaming vegetables and smooth gravy.

Basically right now I am just incredibly thankful for everything and everyone in my life. I'm so thankful (and lucky) for my family and friends, I'm so

thankful for all of my good fortunes (my education, my job, my abilities) and I'm thankful

as well to all of you reading this!

I hope all of your Thanksgivings have given you a moment to pause and realize how precious life is and how we can truly appreciate life when we are thankful for it.

Does this make sense? Hope so. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

There are certain movies that totally get me into the holiday spirit

and for Thanksgiving, Planes, Trains and Automobiles definitely takes the Cake Pumpkin Pie.

The Break-Up Rules

As Charlotte York once quoted, "it takes half the amount of time you dated someone to get over them."

There continues to be an ever so quickly growing list of the do's and don'ts of break-up steps to get over the person whom you once shared an intimate relationship with...

• Get rid of all pictures together
• Delete their number from your phone
• Hide presents they gave you
• Get drunk with friends on would-be anniversary

All of the above are little tricks and tips handed down from woman to woman trying to get over and stop wanting to get under an ex.

These "rules" - if you will - all pertain to one’s personal benefit. But what about the other rules? The do’s, the don’ts and the politics of the break apart from a person.

For instance….

When is okay to ask them for your movies back?

“Hey, I’m sorry for breaking your heart, but can I have my Back to the Future DVDs back?”

How about when you can give them back their stuff?

Is dropping old shirts, movies, hairbrushes, and cell phone cases in the mailbox bad taste?

How about birthdays and holidays?

Is wishing them a happy birthday or Merry Christmas leading them on?

How weird is it that at one point in time two people were totally in sync, totally in love, totally comfortable, totally natural with one another and suddenly there are questions upon questions on the proper way to communicate – or if to, at that.

Modern Family

I'm hopping on the bandwagon and have just finished my very first episode of Modern Family.

I think Modern Family is an extremely creative concept on many levels. While I already quite enjoy the comedic mockumentary aspect I think that the idea of showing real families is incredibly - and humorously - enjoyable.

Of course shows that display the "perfect family" are truly enjoyed by people like me (Full House, The Brady Bunch, Family Ties, etc.) however, there is something about the honesty and brutality of the real family that is truly entertaining.

One of my favourite television shows growing up was Roseanne - a show which did not include the perfectly fit and always hair-and-make-up-ready mother like Mrs. Brady but instead a rather fuller-figured Roseanne Barr who never hesitated to give one of her kids a firm backhand or tease her husband rather harshly.

The three Connor kids on Roseanne dealt with real issues like pregnancy, smoking, drugs, alcohol as well as an unwed aunt with two kids.

Few would look back at this show however and think of it as a nasty, awful show that displayed a loss of humanity. No, people look back on a hilarious show that had people connecting to real issues and relatable humour.

On that note, I'd just to like to express my excitement for perhaps a new addiction: The Modern Family.

Welcome Back

While I have quite a few passions and hobbies, two of my most darling passions are writing and video-making.

Last year I wrote approximately 80 blog entries which mostly involved me procrastinating late at night and wanting to share what was on my mind with the world; with cyberspace; with anyone who would listen really.

I decided then to stop writing for a while when I finished school for the summer and focus only on my video-making fun. I strongly encourage you to check out my channel.

[ Insert shameless self-promotion here: www.youtube.com/meltab27 ]

I will continue to make my videos as they are my most beloved fascination at this point but I have truly missed the pleasure and rush I also get from writing on my dear old blog.

So here we go. Cheers to another school year. Another late night. Another adventure. Another story. Another thought. Another question. Another answer.

Another blog entry.

rude

I'm all for sexually expressive songs and music that can create illusions in your head... But this song is just what the title says: rude. Rhianna's blunt new song is vulgar and gross - not to mention extremely annoying.

What ever happened to females acting lady-like?

I'm not one for saying girls shouldn't be wild and crazy and have a good ol' time... but when is the line crossed? When does a woman stop appearing free and fun and begin to appear and shallow and trashy?

Feminists are all for promoting women raising their voices, having voices.

However, when all women have to talk about is demeaning lyrics such as "boys getting it up" it's like taking one step forward and two steps back. Smarten up.

I think back to Audrey Hepburn and Jane Russell and the vast amount of respect these women had and how that is something that is hugely lacking in our day and age.

What do you think of this video? Better yet: the lyrics?

can you make a mistake and miss your fate?

At a time when I've been feeling confused in many aspects of my life it is so comforting to have stumbled upon my very, very, very favourite quote of all time. Thank you.

"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away." - Sex and the City

little j

Just wanted to throw out my dear friend's blog. I've told many people about it before, but for those of you who follow me that I don't actually know... please check this blog out.

It's magnificant - and addicting! One of the best blogs of our time!

Click here to read and follow!

oh Canada, oh, oh, oh Canada

sleepy

I've been going off just few hours of sleep for the past little while; today I'm especially tired.

There are weeks when we simply anticipate the weekend, and then there are days - like today - when we're on our knees begging for it to come.

Enjoy this tune. It's my absolute favourite. Let it take you away to wherever you want to be this evening. At home, at a friends, at an event, at a place of understanding - or even the weekend...

the meaning

Have you ever loved a song and not quite understood exactly what you thought it meant.

You could try wrapping different situations you're going through into the song but there are certain lyrics and meanings that don't quite match.

That's happened to me with a few favourites.

Recently, I have found out their meaning. I've been put in situations where suddenly these songs make so much sense. My situation must have been exactly what these artists were writing about.

I understand you. Now that I'm here, maybe it was better when I didn't know.

okay okay

So as some of you may recall, part of my new years resolution was to be more friendly/forgiving/open-minded to people.

Throughout the past several years I've felt a loathing towards a particular teen idol. I couldn't stand her popularity at such a young age, I've felt that she isn't nearly as attractive as people seem to think she is and I've stated on many occasions that I do not think she has a great voice anyway (nor acting ability.)

Yes, I'm talking about Miley Cyrus.

My sister has begged to differ since the early days of Hannah Montana. She has been a long-standing fan of Miley and we've often teased each other about our opposing views.

With trying to keep to my new years resolution with giving people a chance, I downloaded several of Miley's songs. I didn't listen to them much before tonight and suddenly I've discovered a small but sure change of heart.

Yes. I've said it. I, Meltab, am admitting to have actually enjoyed the songs I have listened to.

Feel free to ridicule me or point out that I may be showing the signs of a hypocrite, but I am here at 2:41 in the morning willing to acknowledge that I made a snap judgement in the past that turned into a stubborn grudge towards this young girl and I am willing to state now that she actually seems like an interesting individual and her songs are indeed catchy.

So there.

I've said it. Okay?!

It's funny what can happen when we decide to finally let things or people into our hearts. It is too often that we hold things so strongly against each other that these negative feelings blind us from a lot of truth.

Today, try to open up to someone and see what happens...

over it

There comes a time when you suddenly realize you're over it. Lots of weighing out options lots of pros and cons, lots of stressing, lots of outbreaks due to stress and rubbing of the face. Suddenly you realize its unavoidable. Its thereeee.

Distance makes the Heart Grow Fonder

There's that feeling... that familiar feeling of knowing you're going on vacation.

As the days approach to your getaway you suddenly can't stand your house. You've got to get out of here. Got to get where the grass is greener.

While this anticipation and rush can be great and exhillerating - and even last almost the entire trip - the thought of returning home as the end of your vacation approaches slowly but surely strengthens.

You want to get home. You miss the usual. You miss the routine. You miss your bed, your food, your regular clothes, your comfort.

Funny how distance makes the heart grow fonder... and perhaps in more ways then one.

What if we applied the vacation scenario to relationships? What if we suddenly feel an itch to be "less available" to our significant other? What if suddenly we seek a bit of distance? To "test the greener grass" if you will.

This time it doesn't seem as simple. We can't just hop on a plane and travel to somewhere new. This is more tricky. This is more touchy. This is way more risky. In fact, the thought seems taboo.

But what if you've got too much of a good thing? What if you need to step back to access?

The most frightening thought I suppose, would be that one chooses, in fact, to travel to a new place.... chooses to test the waters... chooses to step onto new grass... and just when they start to miss that homey feeling, they realize they don't have the option of a return ticket.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. Well, just how far can we go?

Canada, YAY!

There is something about our entire country coming together with such pride and welcoming others onto our land that makes me feel so happy and proud to be Canadian. Goosebumps every time I watch/hear this song!

Lent

Wow! Is it just me or is Lent/Easter super early this year?!

Every year I give up junk foods that start with C:

Yes, this includes:

Cookies
Cupcakes
Cake
Chips
Candy
Chocolate

Pain

After watching Valentine's Day last night with my girlfriends I got to thinking about pain, suffering, knowledge and outcome.

When we were little, it didn't matter how many times our parents would tell us not to do something. "Don't rock on your chair," "Don't jump on the bed," "Stop eating sand!"

No matter how many times our parents would advise us to stop doing something stupid, we only ceased to stop once we'd been hurt: once our chair flipped backwards, once we fell head-first off the bed, once we choked on a seashell.

What makes us ignore advice until we figure it out the hard way?

Is it curiosity, stubbornness or plain stupidity?

The same applies for friends in dead-end relationships. "Don't call him back," "Don't let him talk to you like that," "He will hurt you again."

We tend to advise our friends as much as we can to save them from pain. In fact, we go to great lengths: threatening to cut their boyfriend's balls off, taking our friends' phones away, being totally harsh and honest with our friends... through repetition we become frustrated.

Why don't people listen?

In the movie last night, Ashton Kutcher advised his best friend not to hop on a plane to surprise her boyfriend because he had recently found out that he was married.

After her best friend told her he had witnessed this infidelity with his own eyes, she chose to go anyway.

Why?

Why put yourself through it all when somewhere, deep, deep down you know that all of this pain and suffering is just prolonging an ugly fate?

Perhaps it is the curiosity that resides in almost every human. Perhaps without pain or suffering we wouldn't realize how lucky we are when we do find something good.

Perhaps we must lose to win. We must learn the hard way.

I can pretty much guarantee that when ten good friends are telling one friend not to date a certain someone anymore she will mentally block out every single thing they say... until she is ready.

Until she's been hurt enough. Until there is absolute sufficient damage done.

So while everyone is on their own time and may have to contrive quite a few more bumps and bruises along the way, one of the most difficult parts of the whole pain/suffer experience may be having to watch your friend go through it.

While our friend will eventually understand that their relationship is in the ruins, we must understand that this process may be long and that it is now more than ever that they need us the most.

Listen Learn Love

Smartphones: Friend or Foe?

Vlove Vlog!

Forgiveness

Through life we gain and lose people. It seems this is the way life goes... we get handed friends and special people and those people can stick around for the most part of our lives or their connection to us can be cut.

Life is so short and so precious and while there are many people that we lose due to the death of the physical body, there are many instances when we lose contact with people because of arrogance, self-pride or dare I say... "snootiness."

Nobody is perfect.

I feel this is something that every single person must grow to understand. This is something that has taken me quite a long time to wrap my head around.

Nobody is perfect. I am not perfect.

I've often found myself setting my expectations too high of others. I've made remarks like "I'd never do that" or "I would have done this by now" or "I would have handled that situation so differently."

While friends and family through the course of time will most probably let us down at one point or an other, it is important to keep in mind that friendship and companionship is one of life's greatest gifts and we often take this gift and throw it back recklessly.

The heart is such a tender thing and as someone who has worn her heart on her sleeve her entire life, it is easy for me to count the amount of times it's been hurt... surprised... angered... left in confusion. While thinking about these instances hurts, nothing hurts more than the loss of someone who meant something to you.

In retrospect, is it worth losing time spent with someone because of pride or stubbornness? Holding a grudge may seem like punishment to your "opponent" but in actual fact it is both of you losing out on times spent together - laughing, loving, being yourselves.

I'm such a passionate person and it is easy for me to let my feelings of anger or spite fester inside of me and keep me silent towards people for long periods of time. But really, what does this accomplish?

This isn't to say that friends should be allowed to walk all over each other or take advantage of each other - no, that would be wrong; I am saying however that ... it's about forgiveness.

Let go of your pride.

Let go of your grudge.

Let go of your front.

You're not better than everyone else. We're all the same. We all make mistakes. We must all learn to forgive. It may take months, maybe years to really "forget" what happened, but in the meantime we must forgive.

We must forgive.

Imagine how many memories would be lost if we didn't.

Life passes by so quickly and no one can have too many friends.

Open your heart.

Unblock someone. Text someone. Call someone. Smile at someone. Apologize to someone. Accept someone.

People make mistakes. You've made mistakes. Don't let silence be one of them.