As I was reading this book there was a chapter called "You Are What You Eat" and the beginning of this chapter gave a warning. The authors explained that this particular chapter would reveal graphic information about the ways in which most animals are bred and slaughtered in order for us humans to eat them.
At the time, I literally read about two paragraphs and decided I was not ready to continue reading this chapter. I loved meat. It was summertime and I loved bacon in the mornings on the patio, I loved BBQing, I loved my dad's Armenian food dishes (many of which contain meat) and my closest friends and family know that I more than enjoyed my drunken street meat in the city whenever I was there.
The thought of becoming vegetarian had crossed my mind several times since I was about eighteen years old. I'd catch a snippet on the news or in the paper about the improper treatment of animals here and there and I'd feel sick about it. But then I'd smell the bacon or the BBQs or the rotisserie chicken at my place of work and realize I wasn't ready to give up meat. It was not my right time yet.
About a month after skipping this chapter my curiosity began to get the better of me. While hanging out with some friends someone eventually turned on a disturbing PETA video that had me in tears. At that moment I decided to reach for my Skinny Bitch book and read the chapter. Right then and there. With all my friends around I ignored them for about twenty minutes and read. I read everything.
When I finished the chapter I decided I no longer wanted to eat meat. Right at that moment I felt sick about it and simply did not want to have anything to do with what is going on in slaughterhouses and farms.
At this point I did not call myself vegetarian. I was not ready for such an extreme title and responsibility. What if this moment of pure disgust did not last long? What if I couldn't resist an intoxicated bite of pepperoni pizza? I simply said I was "not currently eating meat." In my mind I told myself that it is okay if I do eventually eat meat. This is just something I'm doing right now. Right now eating meat does not feel right for me. Right now I'm not eating meat. I may one day, but not right now.
About a month later I went to California where my Armenian family served me homemade Armenian food. I had a bit of chicken (at this point I had not made it official to anyone that I was 'vegetarian.') I felt sick for about twelve hours after I ate that meal. Upon my arrival home I knew that meat would be out of my life. I was ready. Upon my return I officially called myself Pescetarian (no land animals; but occasionally will eat seafood. Often an in-between stage for meat eaters to vegetarians.)
Before I stopped eating meat I was easily irritated by vegetarians or vegans who preached about the negatives of eating meat. I respected them for being vegetarian but at the same time I wanted respect for my choice as well. I promised myself I'd never be that kind of vegetarian.
People often ask me why I do not eat meat anymore... a few reasons. Meat has been proven to be extremely hard on human's digestive systems; our bodies simply are not made to naturally consume most meats. Hence, this feels like a healthy choice for me. I also have zero desire to eat an animal who was killed while feeling terror, confusion and panic.
"BUT MELISSA! If the animals are dead ANYWAY then it doesn't matter if you eat them or not! They're already dead! Someone else will!"
- 98% of meat-eaters.
Response: I chose to give up meat for me. Not for anyone else. Not to impress anyone or to become an activist. I started this because it felt right for me. I do not want to eat those animals. Whether "they're dead or not and someone else will eat them" did not affect my decision. I simply wanted a guilt-free eating experience.
Truth is, giving up meat was one of the easiest things I've ever done. I never thought I'd say that. Ever. But it was. Once I reached a point where I knew that it was time, I just stopped.
Jump to today. A friend of mine posted a disturbing video of animal cruelty titled From Farm to Fridge.
I haven't watched a video like this since nine months ago. I clicked play and within twenty seconds was crying. I simply cannot believe the kind of torture these animals go through to feed us.
I realize I'm about to go against what I'd said before (about how I would never be a preacher) but I'm asking that you hear this from me as merely someone who does not want to see animals being hurt instead of "that preachy, activist vegetarian biatch."
I honestly, have never, ever felt so helpless in my entire life. I'm sitting here at my kitchen table watching these defenceless animals going through actual hell and what can I do?
What can I do?
I'm filled with so much passion right now and I've never wanted to be a part of a change so eagerly in my whole life thus far. This does not have to be this way. There should be a way that people can eat guilt-free meat. A place where animals have a nice life and are killed with respect and the right treatment.
I personally, do not plan on eating meat, but I know there are billions of people who do and will continue to - and that is fine. That is their choice and I can respect that that is their choice. However, there must be some way to bring justice to the way in which these animals are treated.
After watching this video, writing this blog is literally the first thing I did. Still sitting here at the kitchen table with tears rolling down my face, hands cold and shaky. I don't know which organization to turn to, I'll have to do some research but I want to change this.
This is so wrong. I want to do something and be a part of an organization that I feel truly matters. Perhaps watching this video today has reiterated everything I needed to remember. I feel this overwhelming pull to act for these animals. This sense of helplessness felt terrifying. I cannot stand by and continue to do nothing. I'm going to try and make a difference. If even one little life is kept safe from torture I will be happy.
I can hear people's reactions to this post already. I can hear the negativity and the doubt and the tuning out, "there that girl goes... on a rant..." I don't care. Again, I'm doing this because it feels it's right. For me. Right now.
I'm going to do something.
I'm done with being helpless to the helpless.
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