I Believe

It's so easy to be cynical in this world.

People can walk around with hatred, jealousy, scepticism, doubt for days, weeks, months even years.

Maybe you'd experienced too many heart-breaks, let-downs, pit-falls... It's so easy to give up on it all. It is so easy to write everything off and say you're done with it all. Done with an old friend. Done with having faith, keeping faith. Done with love. Done with putting yourself out there.

Maybe I was skeptical. I know I was cynical about certain ideals for a while there. But I'm done with that now. Be who you want to be. Believe what you want.

If you think something can happen make it happen. If you want to put all of your feelings out there for someone or for yourself or for whoever just do it.

I went through a period of doubt where I thought that certain things in life were just impossible or fake or unachievable. How could I have felt so many pleasant feelings at one point in the past and have them suddenly stop dead in their tracks? After this happened I briefly decided that certain things were temporary. Nothing could last forever. I became an ice woman.

This wasn't me though. I'm not cold. I'm not emotionless. I do have feelings and I want to feel again. I shut out a lot of feelings and maybe hurt some people along the way and for that I'm sorry. I truly believe that to live fully you have to act on your emotions. I tried convincing myself of certain things but now those walls are down.

Be passionate.

Be spontaneous.

Be miraculous.

Feel.

Show your true self.

Say what you want.

Love.

Life is so short. To quote one of my favourite movies, Now and Then: "Well Samantha... Things will happen in your life that you can't stop... But that's no reason to shut out the world... There's a purpose for the good and for the bad... "

Sure, wearing your heart on your sleeve and truly believing in things may seem foolish to some people. Maybe dangerous. Maybe dumb. But I'm back to me now. And I don't think it's foolish. Or dangerous. Or dumb. I think it's brave. And courageous. And romantic.

This believer is back.

Thank you =)

Writer's Block

I've been wanting to start up my blog again. I wanted to come back with a bang. I wanted to create a post that would have people exclaim, "my God. I've missed Mel's blog!"

I started a few posts and then stopped half way through. They're saved as drafts.

I can't seem to think up an idea... something to get my fingers typing insanely fast upon my keys like they once did when I was on a role. I can't seem to think of clever lines or intriguing ideas that literally get my heart racing.

...

...

So here I sit in my bed. Staring blankly at the screen and occasionally at my surroundings without a single idea.

I suppose much like other events in life, a blog needs coaxing. It needs inspiration. I feel I need to get some practice in before really writing a great post. This saddens me because I feel there once was a time when I was on a role. There was a time when I could write a post every day.

I feel like I'm back at the beginning and I need to start all over again. Sort of like those people who start working out all the time... lose a bunch of weight... feel great about themselves and then the holidays hit... the holidays turn into a few extra months and BAM. They're back at the beginning. Going back to the gym feels bitter sweet. Good to be back. But they know that they appear as if they've never stepped foot in a gym before. But they have. They have worked out here before. They have made a difference. It's just a matter of reconnecting with that person. Reconnecting with that devotion and passion.

I'm not saying I'm not enjoying writing this again. I just need to rediscover my rhythm.

I need to get back in touch with my creative side. I need to exercise and just write.

So here it is. My first blog post of 2012. It's not fantastic but it's a start. And I think that's all I need for now.

I'm starting to run.